?

Log in

living for the day [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
it must be wonderful

[ website | But mom all the cool kids are doing it ... ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

How much you put in determines how much it will hurt when it ENDS! [Feb. 24th, 2006|10:22 pm]
it must be wonderful
[mood |melancholy]
[music |Playing with fire ~ Emery]

So while I was home one night I couldn’t sleep and so I started looking at the old books on my shelf. I was fun to go through them and remember where I was when I read it. I can across a couple of books that really made me think. First I found a journal my best friend, from when I was little, mom gave me. I must have just put it on my shelf thinking oh I don’t write so I will just put it there and for get about it. Well when I started looking at it I noticed she had written little messages on random messages to me. I feel bad for over looking such a meaningful gift, that she took the time to write me messages. I brought it back to school not saying that I will take up writing in it but that when I need so encouragement I will have it to look at.
The other book that struck me was one that I read a while ago. It is called Dateable. Because of everything that I have been going through lately I just kind of laughed when I saw it.. It talks about relationships and pitfalls of dating and so other stuff about things people do when I a relationship. It is just weird to read it now I have lived so much in the little bit of time that has lapsed between when I first read it and when I reread things that I totally agreed with before.
So I have come to a point in my life that I need to make some decisions. I know that I’m the nice one most of the time. I’m “mom”. But if this is how it feels to be a mom I don’t think I want to be one. No wonder they go through post pardon depression. I feel like a lot of the time I don’t want to burden people with my problems because I know they are going through their own problems and I don’t need to give them more to worry about or I should think that my problems are not as bad as theirs. This IS NOT me trying to saying that people don’t care and it is not me begging for people to be all “oh I love you I’m here for you and all that emo shit” because I still would not tell you. It is something I have grown up doing and will continue to do until the day I die. The select few people I really have opened up to I feel like I have only given them more to worry about. Sometimes I would love to be able to do what they do in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I would love to take a certain person at the moment and erase his whole memory of me. I know his life right now is hard and most of the time I feel like my problems only add to his stress, he is one of those people I do actually talk to. Lately I have been trying to just take care of him and not talk about myself but for some reason he knows how to get it out of me. Then after I tell him I feel like once again I have put too much on him.
The thing that makes me really worried is that I have NO reason to be upset everything for the most part is going really well. But I keep feeling this continued feeling like it’s about to unravel. I will be left behind while life goes by and I will be sitting in pjs watching everything go by as I watch it like a tv show. Ok have to stop writing because it is way to draining and BLAH.
link1 comment|post comment

New Hair and an update [Feb. 14th, 2006|02:03 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |The Future Freaks Me Out ~ Motion City Soundtrack]



this is my new hair and the person i got the idea from ...





This is my cool new thing to do when I'm bored and eventually I'm going to angle my bangs b/c Nicole thinks it's cool...
so anyway life is good. I mean I know it has its moments when I don't know what is going on but for the most part I'm doing really well.  this past weekend was really good first of all it SNOWED and I love the snow and walking in the snow. which I did by myself at like 2 in the morning. Nicole and a boy who I won't use his name b/c I don't want to get him in trouble came to visit. Friday we saw the VM they were awesome, don't worry Nicole you did better last year, but they had more freedom this year so it was more personal. then we went out to dinner with some super cool people. then we didn't know where the lovelies were partying so we came back and had fun, then everyone came back and I had to play mom while being drunk my self. then I thought that iming BOY would be a good idea and telling him to coming up a night early would be an awesome idea. so at 4:45 he showed up and sleeping is always better when he's here b/c he keeps me warm. so we got up and Nicole went home to work :( but I love that she came any way (love ya). so then everyone came down to talk about the night before and find out how bad they were the night before. then BOY, Lauren and I hung out watched 40 year old virgin and wedding crashers and laid around. Lauren went to lacrosse. then boy and I decided it would be good to drink (not such a good idea) I got drunk and told him my WHOLE life story and I cried hysterically that was fun. but then we talked about US and stuff and then slept after all that it was really good sleep though. I love having someone in my bed it makes it everything ok. well then he went home and I slept and went out with the lovelies. so it was a pretty good weekend. oh and as much as I hate V-Day I got super cute gifts from bay and a super awesome card from the ever crafty Danielle and my mom of course. well I'm going to make my cards and prob sleep. Tomorrow I have a whole list of things to do (and I really did write them all down) so adios amigos


link1 comment|post comment

The Ponytail Parade... this is about us even if you don't want to believe it... [Jan. 29th, 2006|01:59 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |Used]
[music | The Ponytail Parade ~ Emery]

Three sleepless nights 
This isn't how it's supposed to be
But you're so good at taking your time
To get back to me

I will wait for you forever
If you would just ask me
I thought that I could change you
But you changed me

It doesn't feel right
Holding someone elses hand
Together on phone lines
And living at two opposite ends

It scares me to think that you could find takers
Other than me and better than me
But your head is elsewhere
And I'm talking enough for both of us
When will you see it's not so easy for me

You're careless and whispered
Insulting and bruising
And I thought that you said
Things were improving
These laces are untied
But my feet are still walking away
Away...

I never thought that
You could say these words
Is this really happening? [2]

[Don't say...]

I never thought that
You could say these words
Is this really happening?
[Don't say that we can...]

I never thought that
You could say these words
Is this really happening?
[Don't say that we can still be...]

I never thought that you could say these words
Is this really happening?
[Don't say that we can still be friends]


Erase my name from this page
How can you take all these days [What is inside me? What have I done?]
And throw them away [Is this the only way that you will notice me?]
As I sit here waiting for you [Dead words for closed ears all this is sung]
for you, for you
I stay up nights [If you are still pretending this is what's right]
Until stars leave the sky [Why can't you look at me can you only see]
Knowing what my dreams can take away [Sides, your side, can]
take away

Walk away from me
This night is done
linkpost comment

I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go. [Jan. 25th, 2006|11:56 pm]
it must be wonderful
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |The Ponytail Parades ~ Emery]

So what’s new with my life since some people seem to get mad at me when I don’t write anything I guess I will write a little something.
Let’s see what has been happening…
Well it’s January so I’ve been super depressed and so it seems everyone around me is too.
I have been talk to a cool kid that I went to high school and he’s awesome and usually knows what to say to make everything ok.
Figuring out housing for next year has been fun and stressful but more fun.
I’m having so much fun doing nothing with the girlies I love them. I’m so much happier this year. I mean I do miss the girls from last year but I’m glad I’m not living with them and I think they are too.
I miss Nicole and wish she was here so we could have our crazy talks at ungodly hours of the night. That girl could get anything out of me. I wish I was there for her right now I love you tons.
I miss everyone at home, the whole west crew and my Mandi sorry I can’t there for you.
Ok I think I’m out of this to say right now so I’m peacing out…
linkpost comment

why do i let myself get like this... [Jan. 9th, 2006|04:33 pm]
it must be wonderful
[mood |contemplative]
[music |EMERY]

In moments of our silent speech I have learned more

then in the moments of audible speech.



I have found the real you in the shell of the person you

once were.



Hiding from the things that scare you about this world



Our laughter turns into giggles, our giggles turn into

conversation, our conversations turn into whispers

and our whispers turn into the silent dialogue no one

else will ever understand.



In the moment you offered me your warmth you also

offered you heart and soul to me.



I will hold it close to me and try to not let any of it fall

away.



You have found the path to my soul in between my

figures.



I wait for the instant when our lips will part and you will

hear my unspoken hopes and dream.
linkpost comment

Best Song II've Heard in a While ... [Dec. 21st, 2005|11:55 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |contemplative]
[music |Mix Tape ~ BRAND NEW]

BRAND NEW
"Mix Tape"

I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.
You're always made up.
And I'm sick of your tattoos,
and the way you always criticize the Smiths... and Morrissey.
And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.
But when I say let's keep in touch,
I really mean I wish that you'd grow up.
This is the first song for your mixtape.
And it's short just like your temper,
but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...

I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.
You're always made up.
And I'm sick of your tattoos, and the way you don't appreciate Brand New or me
And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic.
But when I say let's keep in touch,
I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up.
This is the first song for your mixtape.
And it's short just like your temper,
but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...

(yeah, but I wish you were my shadow.)
link1 comment|post comment

the wedding i'm never having... [Nov. 16th, 2005|10:38 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |White Wedding ~ Billy Idol]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Engagement Ring (frome where else Tiffany's)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Wedding Dress

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Wedding Vail

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Shoes (what where you expecting heels)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Flowers

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Wedding Hair

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Purse

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Wedding Bracelet

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Wedding Earings

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Flower Girls Dress (Hope-a-Lope)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Bride's Maids Dresses (Maggie, Nicole, Heather, Amanda, Danielle, Ann, Kathy, Mandi) for now...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Boo's Tux

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
His Shoes (hey we have to match)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
My Garter

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
CAKE

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Where we are going on the HONEYMOON

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
What i will be wearing on my honeymoon ( or not wearing ;) )
linkpost comment

thanks Kell [Nov. 2nd, 2005|09:27 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |blah]

What you do is go to google, and type in (your first name) needs, and serach. The first 10 phrases that make sense, copy them and enjoy!

Liz needs catchy slogan
Liz needs to put a lid on it!
Liz needs to be laundered
Liz needs to regularly discuss how each other's actions make them feel.
Liz needs to be given open board positions along with description of
responsibilities/duties of the position.
Liz needs to increase her food uptake to at least 2000 calories a day.
Liz needs real love to keep going
Liz needs to grow up
Liz needs to have her tonsils removed!
Liz needs at least 16 people to help cover the shifts.
link1 comment|post comment

do it... [Sep. 9th, 2005|10:38 am]
it must be wonderful
[mood |bored]
[music |Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Title ...~ Fall Out Boy]

1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. I'll tell you what flavor of ice cream you would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
link2 comments|post comment

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I CRY CAUSE I WANTED TO [Aug. 10th, 2005|04:21 pm]
it must be wonderful
[mood |disappointeddisappointed]
[music |Which To Bury; Us Or The Hatchet ~ RELIENT K]

Dear Self,
Thank you soooooo much for such a great birthday. I got to spend a lot of time with you on my special day. I'm so glad that everyone blow me off and did not want to spent time with me. It made me feel so good that no one wanted to spend time with me or even give me a call except for the select few who found 30 secs in there day to call me. I guess that shows how much people really care about me. Well it was lovely to spend time with you. have a great time tomorrow.
Love,
Me
link1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | earlier/later ]